Since my last post I have gotten in touch with a woman I was involved with that I tried to “rescue” as a “White Knight”. I find that I do this a great deal in my life. I seek out women that are beyond emotional basket cases-I find the real deals-Borderline Personality, complex PTSD, Bipolar and end up in platonic but emotionally codependent relationships. I used to think I was a “nice” guy for doing this and that is partly true, but it’s also true that I look for emotional intensity and chaos as a way to recreate my dysfunctional childhood.
With friendships with men I tend to do the same in a different way. Always seeking out the guys with Anti-Social Personality Disorder or convicted felons to “help” when there’s no help to be had for them. Also relating back to my dysfunctional childhood.